


For your eyes only

by lonelymisfit



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-19
Updated: 2015-11-19
Packaged: 2018-05-02 08:25:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5241497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lonelymisfit/pseuds/lonelymisfit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything is shit when you have to face your ex every day of your god damned pityful life.</p><p>Or the one where Louis and Harry break up and Louis has a hard time dealing with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For your eyes only

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be short but it just turned into this. Oh well.  
>  
> 
> Inspired by the song One Direction - If I Could Fly. 
> 
> Enjoy! :) xoxo

It's been what day 65 out of 105 shows now? Louis doesn't even remember as he lost count. He had just finished with a massive water fight with Liam and he should feel relaxed but the water seeped to places he didn't know could get wet and the car ride back to the hotel was most awkward knowing he had to get paired with Harry of all people tonight. Sometimes he really misses Zayn but just for today he can suck it up and face his ex. It can't be that bad. Harry is sitting to the furthest corner from him smiling big and typing away on his phone and Louis shouldn't feel this betrayed and sad, they ended their relationship long time ago yet seeing Harry smile like that made every bone in his body hurt.

 

"Hey Preston can you roll the windows down I need a smoke"

 

Louis sends down the partition and Preston rolls his window down as he lights up his cigarette. As soon as it hits his lips and he puffs out smoke a gagging noise pulls him back into the car. Harry fake coughs and fans the smoke away from his face.

 

"Do you need to do that in here?"

 

He says annoyed and rolls his window down as well.

 

"Well what do you want me to do, sit here and watch you text your fucking boyfriend?"

 

Louis snaps and Harry looks like he's seen a ghost. It's not that much of a secret, everyone knows Harry has been fucking around, Niall even caught him face timing the bastard jerking himself to his voice. It made Louis sick to even think Harry doing shit like that with someone who wasn't him but whatever. He chugs the cigarette outside and rolls his window back up. It's always been difficult to not give in to Harry's every demand. Louis to this day would do anything he asked for because he's in love and he's fucking whipped. Harry doesn't get that. He doesn't get the drinking and the partying and the fucking stress he's under with their shit management because for all these years he's made a way to always have Harry live a little easier.

 

The rumours, the negative media attention he drew to himself just so he and Harry can have a grounded relationship but along the way it got too much for Harry and he backed out. It wasn't easy for Harry as well, with him linked with different women every night and having his reputation as a disgusting manwhore grow in the eyes of the media but it still didn't out do the shit Louis put himself through. Now he's faced with a fake baby gate with a woman he wanted to have nothing to do with and a long hiatus for his career.

 

It's only been a few months since the break up but the wounds are still fresh and to think just how fast Harry can move on from this wasn't only shocking it made Louis regret every single decision he made since in this industry for the first time. Harry's phone pings again indicating another message and Louis just rolls his eyes and lean against the window. How far is this fucking hotel? He couldn't wait to get out this van, it's so hot and he felt suffocated.

 

Trying to pass time he logs onto Twitter, it's after two in the morning but this time is the best time to say shit on media sites and blame it on alcohol. He looks at the trends and smiles because his fans still holding on to him and Harry's relationship praising them for going strong. He quickly types a thank you message for tonight's concert and immediately his mentions light up with cute messages from his fans. He smiles so big his cheeks hurt and Harry glances at him and frowns.

 

"Who is that?"

 

He suddenly asks putting his own phone down to give Louis his full attention.

 

"Why the fuck do you care?"

 

Harry scrunches his face and then pouts turning his head to look outside and okay Louis definitely wasn't expecting that reaction. Harry has been a giant dick to him this past few months, they don't even say two words to each other on stage and Harry always distance himself even though the other boys favoured Louis over him. Louis goes back to his phone and composes a new tweet. He looks over at Harry one more time before hitting the tweet button.

 

@Louis_Tomlinson : Whatever I do I do it for you! x

 

And well it doesn't take long for his incredible fans to decode his message already having the number one trend. #larryislove he strolls through his timeline just reading everyone's reaction and then seeing Harry had been tweeting as well. Curious as he was he knew all he ever did was tweet shit indie lyrics and quote him whenever he was asked a very stupid question from Harry. Harry's latest tweet was just 16 minutes ago and his stomach drops as he reads it.

 

@Harry_Styles : Tell me why you hide me from the pain when I demand for it to be felt.

 

And well that was just pure coincidence that Louis' tweet was basically a damn reply to Harry's. Sighing he logs off and watches Harry, his window is still down and his head is resting against the glass, his hair slightly blowing from the wind. He's too silent and Louis wonders if he's fallen asleep.

 

"Hazza?"

 

Louis tries but he gets no response. He dares to shift closer knowing he's walking straight into a raging fire but he knows now that even behind Harry's façade he was hurting too and there was hope after all. The basis of their relationship was still there just buried deep. He reaches his hands and gently strokes Harry's arm and yet still no reaction. It somehow makes him angry and he grunts folding his hands against his chest like a stubborn child that doesn't get what he wants.

 

"You drive me so crazy!"

 

Louis balls his fists and smashes them to his side making a plopping sound which jolts Harry.

 

"What do you want Lou?"

 

And oh they're back at nicknames now. This isn't half bad after all. Harry still isn't facing Louis and it frustrates him because no matter who it was, Harry always keep eye contact with the person he was talking to.

 

"Louis the boys are stopping for McDonald's you want anything?"

 

Preston interrupts which well Louis just wants to knock him dead because Harry shifts away from him almost making himself so small not an inch of him was touching Louis. How did they went from not being able to keep their hands off of each other to not being comfortable to know where the boundary was? He hated it. Harry's touch was delicate and he always craved it. He missed his boy's soft curls falling over his face as his giant baby crawled in his lap, and he missed Harry's warm torso pressed against his own. He misses how Harry was always sneaking kisses and smiling at him during interviews and backstage or during rehearsals. He misses it. He wants it. He needs it.

 

"Fuck off Preston!"

 

He says too annoyed which earns a well deserved flip off and chuckle from his bodyguard. They don't even bother asking Harry because everyone knew he was in one of those "Louis" moods today which was basically everyday.

 

"Keep it down will you I'm trying to sleep"

 

Harry huffs and shifts again folding his hands to cocoon himself into a ball. Louis can tell he was uncomfortable and cold.

 

"Come here"

 

Louis finds his voice once Preston actually fucks off and puts up the partition leaving them in privacy once again. His words definitely got a reaction out of Harry who is now turned and looking at Louis as if he just said the most outrageous thing.

 

"What?"

 

"Come here, you're cold"

 

Louis opens his arms and smiles and Harry frowns.

 

"I'm not cold I'm fine"

 

His lips jut out in the most adorable way and Louis can tell he was trying so hard to hide his smile.

 

"I know you can't sleep until I play with your hair" because Harry is Louis' kitten. Harry's dimples indent just the slightest until he puts a hand over his mouth to hide it. Adorable just adorable.

 

"I'm not a kitten you know"

 

He drops his voice like he's pouting and seriously Harry is just the most endearing person to live.

 

"Will you just get over here"

 

Louis pulls him a bit too harsh and they crash foreheads. Louis groans in pain and Harry bites back a laugh.

 

"See what you did?"

 

Louis rubs his forehead trying to sooth the blow, he closes his eyes feeling the sting and trying to act like it didn't hurt at all but fuck Harry has a hard head - literally. He freezes when he feels cold wet lips brush on his forehead. His hand drops to his side, his heart beat picking up.

 

"There all better"

 

Harry whispers and Louis opens his eyes to see him mere inches away from his.

 

"It still hurts" Louis says breathlessly making Harry fully show off those beautiful dimples. He leans up again and places a next kiss on Louis' forehead.

 

"I think here hurts too"

 

Louis points to his temple and Harry plays along kissing every single spot on Louis' face and Louis trying not to push it by telling him his lips hurt. "But you know where hurts the most?" Harry freezes in front Louis, his breath fanning across his face, the faint scent of that shit tea he has every day still on his breath.

 

"Where?"

 

Harry leans forward thinking Louis was talking about his lips. No. Louis ducks and the kiss goes on top his head instead. Louis pulls back but doesn't say a word. He reaches to grip Harry's hand from his thighs and moves it to rest over his chest.

 

"Here"

 

Harry's face drops almost immediately catching on.

 

"Lou"

 

"It's okay I get it you don't have to explain I know I fucked up and I deserve this, I don't deserve you"

 

Harry doesn't do good trying to hide his tears as they slowly flow down his cheeks. The car stops as they continue to stare at each other in silence. Harry's piercing green eyes almost burn Louis' flesh and it was too painful to sit next to him any longer. Louis closes his eyes and opens the door to exit.

 

"I'll ride in front with Preston for the remainder of the drive"

 

He doesn't look to see Harry's reaction just closes the door and realizes they were in fact parked in front McDonalds. He goes off to find Preston begging to reach the hotel so he can just be away from Harry and his emotions.

 

...

 

The next morning well more like mid morning, as in almost noon Louis finally gets the will to get off his ass and take a shower, the events of last night still fresh in his head. He gets a text from Niall demanding they all have breakfast downstairs but he already missed that and besides he didn't want to be around Harry right now or anyone for that matter. He knows Niall and Liam will bring up last night "so how come you two didn't kill each other?" And well how will he even start to answer? He just hates confrontation so he ignores it instead.

 

_Sick show last night mate! Did everything go alright with H?_

 

God bless Zayn Malik honestly. He is probably the only person he won't get annoyed with for bringing up Harry. Times like this he does wish Zayn was there to comfort him, he was always the peace maker and he always try to spread his wisdom to the group, with Louis' pig headedness and Harry's obliviousness Zayn would often shed light to the situation and make them realize that fighting was useless and they were just being immature but with Zayn not here anymore Louis has no one to tell him what to do and so far he knows everything he's done is the wrong way.

 

**Thanks man. I miss you :(**

 

He doesn't get sappy that often either, it's just Zayn is really something else and heck Louis loved him aside from Harry and his family Zayn was his everything. Almost instantly comes Zayn's reply.

 

_I miss you too knob now what aren't you telling me?_

 

Louis really doesn't know how to explain last night. He doesn't. And in either case he just wanted to forget it happened.

 

**I don't want to talk about it to be honest**

 

As he waits for Zayn to reply he opens Twitter and goes to compose a tweet.

 

@Louis_Tomlinson : "in desperate need of a cheese pizza and cuddles!"

 

He doesn't even bother to check his notifications just exits when the beep sounds to indicate Zayn's text.

 

_That's okay bro. When you're ready just know I'm here :)_

 

He gets another notification but it's from Twitter.

 

@NiallOfficial : @Louis_Tomlinson : "you're fucking awake? Get down here wanker I'll cuddle ya !"

 

He rolls his eyes and lift off from his comfy bed. Might as well get on with it. He slips on a pair of sweats and shoes ditching his shower to go downstairs. He spots Niall's head from miles away and his loud laughter. Liam is also there but no Harry. This isn't a nightmare after all. He closes in on them and takes a seat. Liam pats his back and Niall throws a berry at him. Typical.

 

"Rough night?"

 

Liam raises his eyebrows suspiciously and Louis shouldn't feel the heat surface to his face like that.

 

"Whatever"

 

He grabs a biscuit and starts spreading butter on it when a small sound catches his attention. He looks up and of course Harry is standing there in all his glory, half buttoned shirt, and hair that flowed over his shoulders effortlessly. No one should look that good.

 

"You're in my seat"

 

Much to his devastation that's what Harry wants to say to him? It enraged him.

 

"I'm sorry your majesty but with all due respect, I don't give a flying fuck"

 

And there it is. Louis knows another inevitable fight is about to ensue and well fuck it. Harry rolls his eyes and takes his phone from the table and leaves the room.

 

"Why the fuck are you two fighting? I put you together last night for a reason"

 

Niall says with a mouth full of bread in his mouth. Guess it's true what they say "you are what you eat"

 

"Harry is such a spoilt brat he needs to learn his boundaries. Claiming a seat as if his fucking name is plastered on it"

 

And when did he get this angry at Harry? He was like a sad puppy over him a minute ago.

 

"Don't be so hard on him he was shit when he came down here"

 

Liam counters only making Louis scuff as if disgusted.

 

"Is this why you called me down? I just want to have my food and leave"

 

Annoyed Louis drops his uneaten biscuit suddenly losing his appetite and storms out the room.

 

 

...

 

The next few days consisted of interviews and promotion for the new upcoming album and Louis actually appreciates his management rules of never having him and Harry pair up to do an interview. They are still traumatized after that french one back in 2012. Harry and Niall are off to do an interview while Liam and him goes to a secret location to surprise fans with a meeting. He gets there and the screams are already giving him a headache but he loves it, he loves the attention he gets and how people scream when he starts to sing. To think he has that kind of effort on people almost made him feel invincible.

 

"Please don't fuck this up and try to behave"

 

Liam mutters as they walk down a dim lit narrow pathway.

 

"No promises Payno"

 

Because Louis never knew how to hold back his tongue and he certainly isn't one to "tone it down a little" Liam enters first and the room is filled with screams and cries and people shouting his name. He takes a deep breath and walks out. The crowd cheers louder, he can hear a few people chanting "larry" and his heart sinks immediately. Liam ignores him and goes over to the fans, a big smile plastered on his face. He's signing posters and talking to a few fans when one girl comes up to him and tugs on his jeans. She probably around seven to say the least and her big green eyes stare at him. He hated how much she reminded him of Harry then again a weird shaped pancake this morning reminded him of Harry.

 

"Where's Harry?"

 

She asks and he bends down so he's eye level to her.

 

"Oh well Harry is a little under the weather today"

 

And as he says his name the few girls talking to him started to scream. Okay? Noted.

 

"Is he sick?"

 

"Something like that"

 

"I know, he's love sick"

 

Wait..what? How old is she again?

 

"And why do you say that?"

 

"Because you're here and he's not"

 

"And how does that make him love sick?"

 

"Because he's not with you silly"

 

And shit a fucking seven year old can read his relationship. His head spins and he feels like he might faint. Liam comes to the rescue and engages the little girl in conversation as he stands and tries to let her words leave his head. After a few, the meetings are done and it was time to head back to the hotel. They only have one more day left here and then it's back to London. The little girl's words still lingering in his head. Of course she was right. As much as he hated to admit that it was shit not being able to touch Harry when he wanted to or kiss him, tell him he looks beautiful today because besides management always on his ass about "inappropriate behaviour" Harry wasn't even his anymore. Liam is on the phone with Sophia and if he has to see another couple again he will throw up.

 

They make it back to the hotel and Niall and Harry isn't back yet which is good right? He runs a bath and decides to stay in there for however long he fucking wants till he turns purple and his skin prune because why the fuck not? His phone sets the mood with Beyoncé singing her heart out about her flaws and he sinks a little more closing his eyes trying to relax and not think of a certain boy with curly locks and perfect dimples.

 

 

...

 

"I think this album is quite different from what we've done so far but then again we say that every time and it really doesn't do much justice. I think you just have to take a listen and judge yourself"

 

And Harry wonders when will this end? He's tired and still upset from this morning. He hasn't eaten anything because of it and he feels like shit knowing he made Louis angry. He does sound like a spoilt brat sometimes. The interviewer asks another question and Harry spaces out, thankful for Niall who immediately picks up and answers for them. He's mostly quiet during the interview unless a question is directed to him. Louis still affects him this way taking up most of his thoughts. How does Harry tell Louis that he still holds on to the past? That those conversations he has is with his mother and sister who is always ensuring him that things with Louis will get better and that whenever he smiles at his phone it's because he's rereading his messages with Louis?

 

Or when Niall saw him "wanking to someone on FaceTime" as Louis said, was actually a fucking video of Louis which he had sent to him that one night they were apart in LA. Louis was out clubbing and Harry had to go to a late night studio session for writing with Julian. And even with a few drinks Louis was texting him every minute saying how much he missed him and wished he was here. Louis wouldn't have gone if management didn't suggested that this would be good promo or some shit like that for the album. Everything is promo for those money greedy fucks. Louis had sneaked out and went to the bathroom and he recorded a short but sweet message for Harry which till to this day doesn't know exist. It was Harry's little secret. It's been tough trying to stay away but being around Louis all the time wasn't helping. It's the only reason he spends so much time in a different country but even how far he went the feathered haired boy chased his thoughts and invade his dreams.

 

The interview is over and they head back to the hotel. Niall is on about some football match with the driver and Harry zones out. It's been a long day and all he wants is to curl up in bed and sleep but he knows that was far from reality he hasn't been able to sleep if it meant sleeping in a big empty bed and no Louis.

 

 

...

 

Typical behaviour for Harry to fly out as soon as they get free time. Probably went to meet that fucking ritz cracker dickhead Louis has seen in so many pictures of both of them together. Louis hated Harry's LA clan and because Harry is so oblivious to things he doesn't even know when someone is flirting and when they take advantage of him. It's why he was so protective of him but now he kind of feels disgusted and he certainly doesn't want to think about what the fuck Harry does in his free time with anybody. Liam suggested they go clubbing yet again and Niall was too busy watching sports to even care. It's not like he wants to get loose and forget everything but the club scene was starting to get a little boring and for once he decided to keep a low profile. It's around three in the morning and walking dead marathon is still in full effect. He gets up to refill his popcorn when his phone vibrates on the nightstand which was..strange. No one ever messages him anymore only Zayn and he knows Zayn wouldn't message this late because he respects alone time unless of course it was an actual emergency. He thinks about letting it go to voicemail but when he looks at the screen he sees that it was Harry that was calling and shit he almost falls over. Why is he calling? What does he want? They haven't spoken to each other since the seat incident which was about two weeks ago. He breathes out heavily and puts the phone to his ear. Before he can even get out a word Harry starts repeating his name as if it was the only word he knew.

 

"Are you drunk?"

 

Usually it was the other way around. Louis being drunk and Harry worried about him but not tonight.

 

"Maybe"

 

He starts giggling like its the funniest thing he's heard and yes Harry is definitely drunk off his ass or high maybe both.

 

"Why are you calling me?"

 

"I miss you Lou"

 

And woah Louis grips his sheets and sits on the edge of the bed because this was just too much.

 

"Are you still there? I feel so tingly inside Lou. Is that strange?"

 

Harry is just too pure for this earth.

 

"What did you drink?"

 

"I don't know Xander made it"

 

And fuck Louis' fear had been met. Of fucking course he's with Xander.

 

"Well then go ask him what's wrong with you"

 

Louis didn't mean for it to sound harsh (maybe a little) but Harry made a displeased sound and then there is ruffling like he's moving about.

 

"What are you doing?"

 

"Hold on Lou, one moment"

 

There is more ruffling and faint voices in the background.

 

"Where are you going Harry?"

 

One female voice says and then another male voice who sounds much louder like he's closer to Harry.

 

"You good baby?"

 

And well Louis definitely heard that right. Harry says something like "excuse me" and then his voice gets clearer and the background is silent from music and voices.

 

"Can you hear me now?"

 

Harry jokes but Louis is still fucking pissed off at the piece of shit who called his Harry that. If it's Xander he would rip his head off guaranteed.

 

"Who was that?"

 

"What?"

 

"You good baby?"

 

Louis mocks the voice and he tries he really tries to not feel jealous and not feel his nerves working overtime, he tries to keep an even breath and not lose his shit but depending on Harry's answer it will determine how well that goes.

 

"It's nothing"

 

Wrong answer.

 

"Well then goodbye"

 

And he doesn't wait for Harry to reply just hangs up the phone. If he stayed on he knew they would fight. He was angry yet the tears stained his cheeks. He continues to feel the pain and why was this so hard? He never gave up Harry and he never stopped loving him either.

 

 

...

 

Their latest interview was a big one. They were back on Ellen. They had been given a pre planned script of how the show would go and Louis should feel excited he should feel happy that after so long there is finally an interview where the whole band is present but having that means Louis and Harry will be in the same room, at the same time which to be honest really isn't a very good idea right now. Harry had just arrived back from his "vacation" in LA and just two days after they were scheduled to be on Ellen. He hasn't spoken or seen Louis until now, not since that night they had the drunk phone call. To be honest Louis is still pissed and it didn't go unnoticed to the rest of their team and Ellen's either.

 

Of course he was given the"talk" before they went on and of course fucking Niall had to sit between him and Harry and of course Ellen had to bring up small tits taylor and that giant lie about having songs written about her on the album. Why the fuck would Louis co write on a song about taylor swift when he despised her for trying to come between him and Harry? But it gave them the attention they needed to sell their album so who's complaining? The interview is going smoothly until Ellen has them playing her famous game "never have I ever" She reads out the sentences most of them pointless and plain pathetic Louis thought as he mindlessly holds up his sign not even bothering to give a proper answer to her question. Liam who is sitting next to him steps on his foot to give him a warning just in time for Ellen to read the next sentence.

 

"Alright never have I ever got a tattoo that I regretted"

 

And Harry is the first person to put up his paddle to "I have" and Louis felt like he had been kicked in the stomach as his paddle reads "I haven't" This interview needs to end, he feels like throwing up and he refuses to look at Harry. Tattoos were _their_ thing. Louis only got tattoos because of fucking Harry and now he's saying he regrets taking them? No Harry, fuck you! No matter how mad he was at Harry he would never say such a thing. He would never regret anything they did.

 

The interview concludes and Louis is glad to be escorted back to his new hotel this time his car ride is alone and he is the first to leave the studio. Preston offers him weed and as much as he needed a good smoke he just wants this world to crack open and swallow him down. How did everything get so bad? The one person he trusted more than himself betrayed him. It fucking hurt. No it burned. It felt like a huge rock crushing your chest and then it is removed only to have another take its place. Over and over again. Fuck everything. If Harry wants to give up then who was he to keep holding on? Ping!

 

_Tommo! Drinks in my room don't be late!_

 

He definitely doesn't need to get drunk off his ass with Niall tonight but then again why the fuck not? He's been such a prude since this whole Harry thing and he's not like this. He isn't the Louis who is bright and loud and doesn't give a fuck about what people think of him and to be fair he misses that boy. One night being him again couldn't hurt anybody would it? He replies to Niall.

 

**Just tell me H isn't there and I'll come**

 

He feels bad that he's putting the boys through this, forcing them to take sides and choose one over the other but whatever. He can think about feeling guilty some other time.

 

_He's not ! :(_

 

And okay drinks it is. He showers in record time and slips on a black printed t shirt and jeans together with his black and white checkered VANS and heads down to Niall's room. Julian is there together with Liam who are chatting away on the balcony and Niall is on his guitar strumming and singing, his usual forte. He slams the door a bit to announce his arrival and Niall pols up from his guitar and smiles.

 

"You look like you need a drink"

 

Niall stands and walks over holding two cans of beers in his hands. Louis takes one cracking it open and downing almost all in one go. Niall chuckles and hands him the other beer in his hand. Louis joins Niall on the bed listening to him whine about the many rhythms Julian didn't incorporate in the album and this is home to Louis except Harry is miss- No. Do not think like that. You don't need him he chants as the door opens revealing Harry. Speak the devil's name and he will appear. He frowns as his eyes land on Louis first and Louis huffs and turns to Niall who he knew did this on purpose.

 

"I hate you"

 

He says to Niall and shifts his body away from him. Harry walks in and drops a bag on the chair going over to Julian and Liam still engrossed in conversation.

 

"Stop acting like children talk to him"

 

Niall complains once Harry is out of hearing distance.

 

"You know as soon as he opens his mouth I lose my shit"

 

"I hate seeing the two of you fight"

 

Niall looks like one of those kids who's parents told him their were getting a divorce and he's trying every way possible to prevent that from happening.

 

"I wouldn't know where to start"

 

Louis admits feeling himself overcome with emotion once more.

 

"Here I'll help"

 

Before he can protest Niall is shouting for Harry to come over and Louis wants to move but his ass is glued to the bed and his mouth is hanging open when he sees Harry approaching. Niall gestures for him to lean down whispering something in his ear which makes Harry giggle and pull away.

 

"What was that Liam?"

 

Niall shouts and Liam stops talking to Julian to look at Niall confused.

 

"I'm coming you big bear hold on!"

pHe continues all the while Harry stands and laughs at him. He drops his guitar on the bed and stumps off to the balcony closing the glass door so that Harry and Louis are alone in the room. Louis on the bed and Harry watching him from the edge.

 

"Hi" surprisingly Harry breaks the tension and Louis feels constricted and suddenly too hot in this t shirt. Who turned up the AC?

 

"Liam clearly did not call for Niall"

 

Harry says looking hesitant as he walks closer as if to sit on the bed.

 

"Are you giving me the silent treatment now?"

 

He looks hurt and Louis wants to say a thousand thing but none of the words would come out. Harry sits looking at his lap, his hands idly tugging at the loose thread in his jeans. Louis, even if he tried couldn't take his eyes off Harry.

 

"Say something. Yell at me, cuss me out just.."

 

Harry runs his hands through his hair

 

"Just don't stay silent Lou, it's scaring me"

 

"Which one?"

 

Louis finally speaks and Harry's head snaps up to look at him confused.

 

"What?"

 

"Which one you regret taking?"

 

Louis has to keep telling himself to don't cry, he isn't sure he wants to know the answer or if he could handle it for that matter. Harry's eyes widen in horror picking up exactly what Louis was asking.

 

"I-I.."

 

"Just say it"

 

His eyes pool with tears already as he sees the physical pain etched on Harry's face that tells him he isn't going to like the answer.

 

"The heart"

 

This is the moment Louis was waiting on. The inevitable. All his life he searched for something that never existed. The thing they wrote in books, the thing they glorify in movies, the thing that represented the heart. Love. What was the need to stop the tears if it's the only thing he could actually feel right now?

 

"I regret taking it because.."

 

And no this is already too much to take, if Louis has to hear the reason for it he would just burst into flames. He's sure he would.

 

"Don't"

 

His hands come to cover his face willing to pull his eyes away from Harry.

 

"Every time I look at it I feel you, in my bloods, in my veins and in my own heart and it is selfish for me to want something when I know it doesn't belong to me anymore"

 

Louis had to bite on his lips already tasting the blood. Just stop fucking talking Harry!

 

"I gave you up because I felt it was the right thing to do to make you happy. You wouldn't have to go through all of this for me and keep living an unhappy life"

 

Now Louis was angry. He total misses the point. Surely this isn't what he really thought right?

 

"You really think being with you made me unhappy? Well I'm fucking peachy now can't you tell?"

 

He angrily wipes at his eyes watching Harry.

 

"What I did, all the shit I've been through over the years I would happily do them all over again if it means that I get to be with you"

 

"Lou"

 

"You're such a fucking idiot, I love you Harry why can't you understand that? People fight for the ones they love. That's what I did I fought for you. For us"

 

Harry lurches over and grips Louis by his waist tumbling them both on the bed. He presses his lips to Louis as the tears continue to flow down his cheeks, Louis slows trying to react at this but spreads his legs apart so Harry can properly straddle between him, his hand comes to the back of Harry's neck gripping him tighter and pulling him closer to his chest. He opens his mouth and Harry sucks on his bottom lip, slow and passionate feeling every emotion, every missed opportunity they missed doing this, feeling the familiar warmth that is Harry. Harry pulls away, breathing erratic as he stare at Louis under him, glassy eyes and swollen lips.

 

"I love you Louis I love you so much"

 

And Louis smiles because maybe now Harry understands his worth to Louis, maybe he gets why he does this, why he keeps up the act and why he keeps fighting. Louis' hands come to cup Harry's face, he leans up and Harry is brought down closing his eyes and waiting for Louis to make a move. Louis places a kiss to his closed eyes, tasting the saltiness from his tears then works his way to his forehead, then to his nose and his cheeks, then his jaw, his neck placing sweet kisses all over Harry's beautiful face and then finally back to his lips. Louis thinks this is home, this is his favourite place to be and if he could fly he would always come back to Harry.

 

 

Fin.


End file.
